


For Him

by partykeefus



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Amusement Parks, Angst with a Happy Ending, Clubbing, Depressed Keith, Drinking, Drinking to Cope, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, M/M, Prescription Drug Overdose, SUPER FLUFFY FLUFF, Strangers to Lovers, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, They're in their early 20s in this, Unbeta'd, detailed description of overdose, her/she pronouns for Pidge, i suck at summaries, klance, supportive lance, they're memers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-10-05 03:47:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10296767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/partykeefus/pseuds/partykeefus
Summary: Lance never expected something meaningful out of finding a hot guy stripping on the dance floor of a sleazy club.(In which Keith and Lance fall in love and Keith can't handle being loved)





	

Lance plopped himself onto the bar stool next to Hunk.

 

“This is pointless, Hunk. I should be getting my beauty sleep right now.” Lance pouted dramatically. Hunk waved over the bartender and ordered some drinks before replying.

 

“Nope, none of that weak stuff. We’re gonna stay and have a good time so you forget you-know-who.” Hunk crossed his arms over his broad torso as he spoke.

 

“What-ever.” Lance annunciated. Their drinks appeared and Lance slammed it down. 

 

“Dude slow down! I told him to make them strong!” Hunk sputtered after he took a sip of his own drink.

 

“Like I said,  _ whatever. _ ” Lance’s eyes looked dead. “If this helps me forget her then I want more.” He flagged down the bartender to ask for another. After a friendly chuckle the bartender poured him straight liquor.

 

“This’ll take the edge off, buddy. On the house.”

 

“Whoa, thanks man!” Lance raised the glass to salute him before promptly downing the entire thing. Hunk stared in disbelief.

 

“Jeez I knew you could handle liquor but not like this…”

 

“Keep ‘em coming!” Lance laughed.

 

\-----

 

To say Lance was drunk was an understatement. He was sloshed. Hunk not too far behind him. The club they were in also filled up past midnight, it was nearly wall to wall full of people. Lance and Hunk found their way to the dance floor and were dancing. Lance couldn’t remember the last time he had such fun. Suddenly the atmosphere changed and so did the music. The intense tones of The Weeknd flooded the air. And then the bass dropped.

 

Lance felt the bass throughout his bones and he closed his eyes to just feel the vibrations. He opened his eyes and noticed people hooting and yelling as they made a circle around someone. He pushed through some people and saw what they were looking at.

 

A boy with shoulder length hair was rolling his body and beginning to take his shirt off. Once his nipples were visible the crowd went wild and Lance’s jaw hit the floor. This guy was stunning. Dark hair contrasted against his pale skin under the black lights of the club. Suddenly Lance was blinded; the boy’s shirt landed right in his face. He scrambled to take it off to see what the boy would do next. His mind wanted to stare, but instead his body, piloted by liquor, pushed past people and began stripping next to the pale boy. Girls and guys alike screamed their lungs out when Lance’s T-shirt and hoodie went flying. Once half nude, he was back to back with the other shirtless boy and they rolled their bodies to the beat against each other. Lance was smiling like this was the best thing to ever happen to him. The boy turned and faced Lance’s back to start grinding against his ass. The girls’ screams were deafening. The boy put his gloved hands on Lance’s hips and got really into it, kissing Lance’s shoulder lightly.

 

_ “The Hills have eyes… the Hills have eyes…”  _ The song went soft momentarily before the chorus came back and the bass dropped again. Their body rolls were slow and sensual, almost intimate.

 

When the song ended the crowd erupted into applause and screams. Lance guffawed and bowed low before stumbling. The boy grabbed him and steadied him before grabbing his hand and yanking him through the horde of people to get to the bar. When they stopped, Lance noticed their fingers were intertwined and smiled at the intimacy. The boy leaned in between people and got them both some water. He handed the glass to Lance before smiling.

 

“There you go, man.” He said with a gravelly tone.

 

_ Shit. He's so hot.  _ Lance couldn’t think straight.

 

“Thanks dude! You’re one hell of a dancer.” He strained his voice to get over the buzz of the club.

 

“You are too.” The boy winked. Lance short circuited and stuck his hand out awkwardly.

 

“Name’s Lance.” He smiled brightly.

 

“Keith.” Keith took his hand and shook it.

 

“That’s a pretty name, but not as pretty as you are.” Lance waggled his eyebrows as his normal goofiness took over. Keith keeled over and laughed; really laughed. Lance stared bewildered. Had his pick up line actually worked? Did Keith just snort? God, that was cute.

 

“Thanks.” Keith giggled, fucking giggled, as he straightened up his posture. “So, what’re your plans for tonight?” He asked as he leaned on the tall table they found.

 

“Um, I don’t know… I kinda lost my friend over on the dance floor.” Lance slurred, suddenly feeling very naked. Well, more naked than he already was.

 

“How about we ditch and go to my place?” Keith wore a crooked grin. Lance’s eyes were the size of dinner plates. “I have shirts we can wear and everything.” Lance considered this for mere moments before replying loudly.

 

“Hell yeah!”

 

\-------

 

Hunk huffed. “Pidge, I can’t find Lance!” He nearly screamed into the receiver of his phone, using Lance’s hoodie to cover his other ear.

 

“Jeez, Hunk, calm down. Where did you see him last?” She said as if bored.

 

“He was stripping on the dance floor with some guy I’ve never seen before! He could be anywhe-” He cut himself off. “Oh god what if he went home with that guy??” 

 

“So what if he did? He’s a big boy now, he knows how to handle himself.” Pidge was not impressed. She snorted before continuing. “How drunk was he to be stripping with a stranger?” 

 

“Pidge, he had so much tequila. So much.” Hunk face palmed.

 

Pidge’s tinny laughter erupted from the speaker on his phone.

 

\----

 

When they arrived to Keith’s apartment, Lance took in his surroundings. It was kind of messy but in an organized way. It was also covered in painted canvases, ranging from rainbow to monochromatic. Lance broke the ice.

 

“Nice apartment, man. Love the art.” He was smiling as he walked to the nearest canvas to view it closer.

 

“Thanks, it’s kind of a mess right now. I didn’t expect… guests.” Keith smiled and walked through the only hallway to what seemed to be the bedroom. He made a ‘come hither’ motion with his finger. “Come here.” His smile was devious.

 

“Uh, okay.” Lance scratched his exposed chest before following Keith.

 

\-----

 

Keith’s head was pounding. He cracked his eyes open slowly to his dark room. He tried to flip over but found a body in the way.

 

_ What the fuck. _

 

Keith squeaked and scooted back until he nearly fell off the bed. His motion seemed to stir the body next to him.

 

“Mmmm…” The boy next to him hummed. Keith stared in horror.

 

_ Did I bring home a guy last night???? _

 

He wracked his brain to figure out what happened last night. The last thing he remembered was calling his brother and blabbering about his depressed, lonely life. God, why was he so pathetic. He reached for his desk lamp and turned it on. His eyes rest upon the tanned skin of the boy's back, and admired his build.

 

_ No. Stop, this is a crisis. I can worry about Mr Swimmer bod later. _

 

He focused his mind on what happened again. He vaguely remembered stripping, and it hit him. The boy he gave water to. What was his name again? Phil? Shit. Keith began feeling bad about not remembering his name, even.

 

_ Wow, I'm a mess. _

 

He frowned and cast his eyes downward, away from the boy. A void opened in his chest, leaving him feeling hollow. He reached for his phone and unlocked it to find a message from his brother.

 

**Shiro:** _ call me when u wake up _

 

Keith groaned loudly.

 

The boy began flipping over and Keith allowed his eyes to drag up his body as it turned.

 

“‘Morning, beautiful.” The boy said with a raspy voice and a small smile. Keith blushed.

 

“M-Morning.” He replied, putting his phone back down. “Um, I'm sorry but I can't remember your name.” The boy chuckled.

 

“Lance.” Lance smiled, understanding. “And you're Keith.”

 

Keith wore a crooked grin. “Yep.” Popping the ‘p’. They stared at each other in comfortable silence. “So do you want-” He began before pausing to take a breath. “I’ll be right back.” He got up hastily, thanking God he was already wearing boxers, and ran to the bathroom, where he promptly threw up. After brushing his teeth he returned to his room where Lance had begun dressing himself in last night's jeans.

 

“Can I borrow a shirt? We kinda lost ours last night.” Lance said with a chuckle.

 

“How are you so peppy?” Keith groaned as he lazily threw his legs into some sweats.

 

“I don't get hangovers. Lucky, aren't I?” Lance puffed his chest out and placed his hands on his hips. Keith huffed a sigh and rummaged through his (thankfully) clean pile of clothes.

 

“Yes, yes you are.” Keith procured a T-shirt and handed it to Lance, who put it on immediately. He looked down and gasped.

 

“Voltron?? You watch Voltron??” Lance chirped as he admired the black graphic T.

 

“Yeah man, born and raised on it.” Keith had a small smile. He admired Lance’s energy momentarily.

 

“That’s awesome! I was too!” Lance grinned widely and stood up. “Now where did I put my phone…” He mumbled.

 

“Hey, um…” Keith started. “Did… did we… you know.”

 

“What, have sex?” Lance said plainly.

 

Keith looked anywhere but at Lance. “Uh, yeah.”

 

“No, we played some games and almost got somewhere but you fell asleep and left me-”

 

“Alright, I get it.” Keith bit out. Anger was starting to seep into his core and bleeding out his mouth. He wasn’t angry at Lance, per say; he was mostly angry with himself that this kept happening.

 

At least once a week he’d come home with some random dude who caught his attention and have some sort of relations with them. He was worried about obvious things, like sexually transmitted diseases and what those people thought of him in the moment. But he never saw them again, so all he had to do was get tested regularly and he could reasonably calm his anxiety. Which he did get tested, but it wasn’t enough to placate his nerves. He still hated himself for his drunken sexual promiscuity. He hated who he was when he drinks. But what he hated more was how it felt to be sober; to face his reality. Thus the drinking cycle continues.

 

Keith ran a hand through his messy hair and breathed deeply. Lance had been staring at him from his sudden outburst.

 

“Sorry, I get… touchy when I’m…”

 

“Hungover?”

 

“Sober.” Keith said instantly. He immediately regretted saying that because Lance’s face contorted into one of concern.

 

“Dude, you okay?” Lance placed a hand on Keith’s shoulder, which he shoved off almost immediately. He released a deep sigh.

 

“Yep. Peachy.” Keith said before turning to put on a shirt. “So do you want food or what?” Lance continued to stare at Keith, deep in thought.

 

“Yes.” Lance said carefully. “I’ll treat us to breakfast if I get your number.” Lance smiled and went for the small table next to the bed to look for his phone.

 

Keith sighed. He considered his options: Refuse and make this awkward or accept and have another person in his life who expects things from him. “Alright. I choose where we go, though.” Keith said finally. Lance’s face lit up and he handed Keith his phone. Keith figured he didn’t  _ have _ to keep in touch if he didn’t want to. Once they exchanged numbers they put on their shoes and walked to the diner of Keith’s choosing.

 

\-----

 

Nearly a month later, Keith got a text from Lance.

 

**Lance:** _ heyy wana hang? _

 

Keith sighed before replying.

 

**Me:** _ sorry busy _

 

A few seconds passed before he got a response.

 

**Lance:** _ I’ll buy us coffee! Meet me at the coffee shop in 30 _

 

Keith groaned. He didn’t have a choice, did he? He rolled off his bed and trudged to his bathroom where he stared at himself in the mirror. His hair was sticking up in every direction and he had bags under his eyes. He released another exasperated groan. He grabbed a hair tie and put his hair up instead of combing it and he splashed his face with water. Slipping on a hoodie and skinny jeans (that didn’t smell  _ too _ bad), he made his way to the front door to put his shoes on. If he wanted to get to the cafe on time he’d have to leave now. And by on time, he knew that meant 15 minutes early. His anxiety made him early to planned things, which is why he never planned things in the first place.

 

\-----

 

Keith sat in the warm cafe near the entrance. Its atmosphere was calming to him; its brick walls and various nature paintings made it feel like a greenhouse. It was the middle of the summer so the fireplace was not ignited, but he could imagine how cozy it would be in the winter.

 

Every time the door’s bells chimed he would whip his head in its direction to see if it was Lance entering. He checked his phone and examined the timestamp of the last text he received, it had been half an hour. He played a game on his phone to pass the time.

 

After nearly an hour, the bells chimed once more. “Keith!” Keith shot his head up at the mention of his name, and there stood Lance in all his sparkly glory. At least he looked like he was sparkly compared to Keith’s ‘I just rolled out of bed’ look. He was wearing joggers, a hoodie, and Keith’s T-shirt he neglected to give back. Keith smothered a smile.

 

“Took you long enough.” Keith turned back to his phone.

 

“What can I say? Perfection takes time.” Lance flipped his bangs out of his face, and Keith rolled his eyes. Keith stood and walked him to the counter where they both ordered some coffee. At least Keith ordered coffee, Lance ordered some crazy named drink and smiled down at Keith’s disgusted glare. “What? Macchiatos are good!” Once he got his coffee, Keith went to the small bar that had cream and sugar while Lance waited at the far side of the counter for his drink. Lance got his beverage then chose a table in the corner to sit at and waved Keith over when he turned. Once seated, there were a few beats of silence.

 

“So, how’re you?” Lance started, taking a sip of his drink.

 

“I’m…”  _ Terrible. Lonely. Empty inside. _ “... Good. How about you? Any more club excursions since we met?” Keith took a swig of his coffee. It was good coffee.

 

“Nah, I got what I wanted out of that experience.” Lance smirked.

 

“And what’s that?” Keith looked genuinely confused.

 

“... Ah, nothing special.” Lance averted his gaze and tapped a finger on the table. Keith just stared. “How about you? Any crazy nights?” Keith snorted.

 

“Too many to count, honestly.” He didn’t know what came over him to tell the truth like that.

 

“I can tell.” Lance smirked and looked over Keith’s body. “You look like shit.”

 

“Thanks, man.” Keith glared at him and placed his coffee down. “I don’t have time to pamper myself like  _ some _ people.” He crossed his arms.

 

“But pampering is so much fun! We should totally have a sleepover so I can give you a facial!” Lance beamed. At that Keith released a full on belly laugh.

 

“Oh, you’d like that wouldn’t you?” Keith wheezed. Lance stared confused before realization washed over his face and a blush tinted the tips of his ears.

 

“I’m not the only one who’d enjoy that, buddy.” Lance tried to jab at Keith.

 

“So you admit you’d like that? That’s bold.” Keith took up his coffee and sipped at it calmly. Lance looked like he was ready to pass out.

 

“Shut up.” Lance angrily drank his drink. “Soo, changing the subject: did you hear about that amusement park that just opened? I want to go so bad!”

 

“Then why don’t you go? I’m sure your friends would  _ love _ your company.” Keith’s voice oozed sarcasm. Lance glared at him.

 

“Oh, they  _ would. _ We’ve just been so busy we can’t find a time everyone’s free.” Lance looked down at his drink thoughtfully.

 

“I don’t think I’ve ever been to an amusement park.” Keith said flatly. Lance nearly dropped his drink he gasped so hard.

 

“What?! Oh, now we  _ have _ to go!!” Lance was grinning a mile wide. “Oh my god, I’ll clear my schedule, we’ll go tomorrow! You don’t work do you?” Keith closed his eyes and breathed through his nose for a beat.

 

“I don’t.”  _ Motherfucker why can’t I lie. _

 

“Perfect! I’ll pick you up at eleven and we’ll be there by noon! It’s a da-”

 

Keith raised an eyebrow.

 

“... it’s a date. It’s a date, okay? This is our first date.” Lance rambled as his cheeks flushed with color. Keith’s lips parted in a small gasp, and stared with wide eyes.

 

“O-Okay.”

 

\-----

 

Like he said, Lance picked up Keith at 11:30, which was on time by Lance terms. They arrived at the parking lot by 12:45, due to a little traffic. Once parked, the boys exited the car and Lance beamed at Keith, who still looked a little tired but over all couldn’t hide the excitement in his eyes. They couldn’t have asked for a more perfect day; it was partly cloudy with a light breeze. Perfect T-shirt weather, and so far none of the rides in the park were closed. They entered the park and Lance almost knocked into a couple and their stroller as he pushed through the turnstile in his blind excitement.

 

“C’mon Keith! I wana ride them all!” Lance chirped. Keith couldn’t help but smile.

 

“I don’t know about that… I haven’t even been on a roller coaster.” Keith suddenly felt very small. He pushed his way into the entrance of the park, took a map from the information stand, and stood close to Lance.

 

“You’ve never been-” Lance cut himself off. “Okay, I’ll do  _ anything  _ to see you on a rollercoaster. Please, I’ll get on my knees if I have to.” They stared at each other in silence. Lance began going on one knee and some people turned to look. Keith sputtered and pulled Lance back to his feet.

 

“You moron! Fine, fine, I’ll go on  _ one. _ ” Keith brushed some of his bangs behind one of his ears.

 

“YES!” Lance jumped with a triumphant fist in the air. “I get to pick though!” He grabbed Keith’s hand and started dragging him towards the first ride in sight.

 

Once they found the line, they stood in it for 45 minutes. At the thirty minute mark, Keith complained heavily about the waiting being worth it. Lance assured him once they got off the ride, he’d know what the hype is about. When they were next in line, Keith grabbed the bottom of Lance’s shirt and tugged, causing Lance to turn.

 

“What’s up?” Lance asked. Keith looked at the ground and pursed his lips. 

 

“I’m… I’m scared.” He admitted quietly. Lance smiled fondly.

 

“I’ll be here the whole time. And besides, these things are tested for months before they’re open to the public. I promise you’ll be safe.” Lance smiled wider when Keith looked up at him through his bangs.  _ How cute could a guy be??? _

 

“... Okay.” Keith said. They were then called over to the ride’s car. It was an inverted roller coaster so Lance had to take his flip-flops and bag off before being strapped in. Keith’s heart was beating out his chest as he was strapped in, and the employee pulled on the bars over his shoulders to test its security. Realization was creeping through his body. “Oh, god. This is happening.” He babbled.

 

“Smile!” Lance said as he pulled his phone in front of them and snapped a quick selfie. Keith tried to smile, in all honesty, but he probably looked as scared as he felt. “Don’t worry, I’ll do a before and after so we can show everyone how badass you are after riding this.”

 

Keith gulped. The employee behind the control console spoke over the speakers the usual spiel about staying in the ride at all times. And with a “Enjoy the ride!”, the ride sprung to life. Keith squeaked while everyone, including Lance, screamed with excitement. He grabbed Lance’s hand and held it up by his head while his other hand grasped the handles with a death grip. “Oh jeez, oh God, please- I regret this, I regret this!!” He prattled. Lance laughed and squeezed Keith’s hand as they ascended the first hill.

 

“You’ll live, now get ready!” Lance yelled over the wind and screams behind them. It didn’t help they were in the second car from the front. They hung over the hill while the rest of the cars travelled over the highest thing Keith’s ever been on. And finally, they plummeted.

 

\----

 

Once they were back in the loading area, the employee behind the console asked, “Welcome back, riders! How was your ride?” Keith felt giggles escaping his mouth without his consent before he yelled his response alongside Lance. The boys were released from the ride’s seats and Lance found his flip-flops and bag before they walked down the path to the small pavilion next to the loading area.

 

“So, how was your first roller coaster ride?” Lance asked with a smile.

 

“Holy shit, I can’t- when we just- WHOOSH down that hill and when we flipped upside down I thought I was gonna die!!” Keith expressed himself openly through his adrenaline rush. Lance laughed heartily while Keith put his hair in a sloppy ponytail.

 

“I’ve made a monster!” Lance’s eyes crinkled at the corners he was smiling so big. Keith looked up at him with his eyes full of excitement. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this… alive. “Alright, selfie!!” Lance procured his phone and snapped the happiest selfie he’d ever taken.

 

They arrived in the pavilion. Lance looked at the TV’s mounted on the walls and squawked when he found what he was looking for.

 

“There we are!!” Lance pointed and laughed. Keith squinted and made out his horrified expression and Lance’s laughing face. He immediately covered his face and groaned.

 

“Oh my god, if we could delete that picture forever that’d be great.” Keith looked through his fingers at the picture once more.

 

“Fuck no, I’m buying this.” Lance said before noting the numbers on the bottom of the screen. Mortified, Keith watched Lance approach the counter under the TV’s and choose out a keychain with the picture on it. Once they were completed, Lance returned to Keith’s side to hand him a keychain. “I got us both one. I better see that on your keys forever now, okay?” He winked and dropped it into Keith’s opened palms.

 

“Oh god, why did I ever agree to this?” Keith asked himself aloud.

 

“Because I’m oddly convincing with my charming good looks.” Lance said easily.

 

“You got that right.” Keith’s face scrunched into one of horror as he realized what he just said. “I mean,”

 

“Nuh uh, you just admitted I’m cute, no take backs!” Lance sing-songed as he put the keychain in his bag. “C’mon! That was only one ride!!”

 

\---

 

They rode three other roller coasters before Keith called it quits. Lance pouted and whined but Keith refused to budge in his decision. After the last roller coaster, they checked the time.

 

“It’s almost five, did you want to get some food?” Lance asked. “I’m kind of starving.”

 

“Yeah, sustenance sounds good.” Keith replied as he pulled out his map and directed them towards the food area of the park. It took them 20 minutes to get there and by then Lance was whining constantly about  _ dying _ of starvation. “Oh my god, we’re already there. Stop being a drama queen.”

 

“Oh, prince charming, please save me!” Lance threw a hand dramatically at his forehead and fanned himself with the other.

 

“Uuughhh” Keith groaned loudly.

 

After they both had burgers, Lance made them get ice cream. “It’s tradition!” He insisted. Once they had their cones, Keith dragged a straggler fry through his chocolate ice cream and popped it into his mouth. Lance gagged. “How could you do that?! Ugh, Keith, I don’t know if this’ll work out.” He said dramatically, waving his ice cream cone in the air.

 

“It’s sweet and salty, like chocolate covered pretzels. Why don’t you try it?” Keith said. “Be careful, you’ll drop it.” He frowned.

 

“I won’t drop it, only fools drop-”

 

_ Plop. _

 

Lance stared with his mouth agape.

 

“I fucking told you so, you idiot.” Keith said before chuckling and licking his ice cream. Lance sputtered for a few moments before slouching in defeat.

 

“Now I’ve got no ice cream! How’s a man gonna survive in these harsh conditions?!” He yelled, startling a family of four across from them. Keith almost passed out from how hard he rolled his eyes before thrusting his cone in Lance’s face.

 

“If I share, will you shut up?” Keith didn’t meet Lance’s eyes.

 

“Yes, yes I will.”

 

\----

 

By the time the sun was beginning to set, they made their way to the part of the park that held the games. They played ring toss, water gun races, dart games, and finally a shooting game. Lance’s bag was stuffed with small plushies by the time they arrived at the shooting stall.

 

“Hey, look! I’ll win you that giant one!” Lance chirped. Keith sighed.

 

“Go for it.” Keith shrugged.

 

“You don’t think I can do it.” Lance crossed his arms across his chest.

 

“Nope.” Keith smiled innocently.

 

Lance slapped down a $20 and the game began.

 

\----

 

Keith walked to the car holding a very large, red lion and wearing a very large, wide smile. He thought his face was going to burst from how much he’d smiled that day. He pushed the lion into the back seat while Lance threw his bag back there too and then climbed into the driver’s seat. Once Keith was in the passenger seat and buckled up, he started the car for the journey home.

 

“I can’t believe you actually won that lion.” Keith said once they were on the road.

 

“I can’t believe you doubted me! I’m  _ Sharpshooter Lance _ !!!” Lance puffed his chest out and put one fist on his hip while the other steered.

 

“I guess you are.” Keith giggled softly and looked out the window. A few beats of silence fell over them.

 

“So did you have fun?” Lance asked, his voice not quite hiding the self-consciousness he felt.

 

“Yes, yes I did.” Keith smiled when he looked over at Lance. “Thank you, Lance.”

 

“You’re welcome!” Lance cheered and stole a glance at Keith before going back to driving. He heard some shuffling before he felt lips on his cheek, and before he knew it they were gone.

 

Ten minutes later, Keith was slumped over with his head on the window and eyes closed. The last rays of sunshine shone on his black hair and lit up his face with orange light.

 

\----

 

Lance texted Keith almost every day after their date. Silly things, pick up lines, and he even sent pictures of his cat. As much as Keith didn’t want to admit it, he really liked hearing from him. It kept him grounded; gave him something to come home to. He always found himself texting him when he got drunk. Which, in hindsight, was pretty frequently.

 

Lance was walking through his door when he got a text from Keith.

 

**Keith:** _ hay whaddup _

 

Lance snickered before replying.

 

**Me:** _ haaay guuurl!! :D Nothin much, just got off work. Hbu _

 

Lance pocketed his phone and took his shoes off. He slung his apron over the back of the couch in his front room and stretched his arms above his head, hearing some satisfying pops of his back. He walked to his room and sat on his bed while pulling his phone out.

 

**Keith:** _ i got offd work a while ago, m druinking in my aprtment _

 

Lance’s face twisted into one of concern before he released a breath through his nose.

 

**Me:** _ want a drinking partner? _

 

His phone vibrated almost instantly.

 

**Keith:** _ YES ;))) _

 

Lance smiled and got back up to find where he tossed his shoes.

 

\----

 

He knocked on Keith’s apartment door. Footsteps pounded towards it before being opened, revealing a dishevelled looking Keith.

 

“Welcome, Sir Lancelot of Camelot.” Keith slurred and he swung out an arm gesturing to his apartment.

 

“Jesus, how much have you had already?” Lance laughed and walked through the door, six pack in hand.

 

“Enough.” Keith frowned and crossed his arms like a child. “What’re you, my mom?”

 

“You wish. No wait, then we’d have some weird Oedipus thing going on.” Lance looked mildly disgusted, causing Keith to cackle. Lance toed his shoes off and slipped his hoodie off his shoulders. He ripped off a can from the six pack and offered it to Keith.

 

“Ale?” He asked.

 

“Is it poisoned?” Keith scrunched his nose at it.

 

“There’s enough of that in you already.” Lance said easily, making Keith keel over and laugh as he held onto the couch for support. “Whoa there, buckaroo, careful!” He giggled.

 

“Holy shit, I have to peeeee!” Keith was almost crying he was laughing so hard. He turned and ran to the bathroom while Lance plopped himself on the couch. Lance cracked open the can of apple ale and took a large swig. He released a satisfied sigh and he put his feet up on the coffee table. He admired the paintings around the room, noticing some new ones.

 

Keith returned and sat himself next to Lance, leaning his head on his shoulder. Lance switched the can into his other hand and reached to hold Keith’s hand. Keith nuzzled his face into the crook of Lance’s neck, causing a giggle to escape Lance’s mouth.

 

“Wh- Stop, that tickles!” Lance smiled and leaned over to avoid Keith’s face nuzzles. Keith took this as a challenge and climbed on top of Lance’s lap to nuzzle him further.

 

“Stop moving, you smell good.” Keith murmured and stuck his face back into the crook of Lance’s neck. He inhaled deeply and smiled before placing a kiss there. Lance went stiff and gasped. “Ohoho, you like that don’t you?” Keith smirked and continued to kiss up his neck. He got to Lance’s ear and nipped at the lobe before sitting fully in his lap. Lance bit his bottom lip.

 

“Hold on.” Lance said. He held onto Keith’s hip as he put his legs down and leaned forward to place the can on the coffee table. Once his hand was free he put it on Keith’s other hip and held him in his lap. They looked into each other’s eyes before Lance placed his lips on Keith’s. Keith shifted, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. He opened his mouth and worked his tongue into Lance’s mouth, who moaned softly and placed his hands on either side of Keith’s face. Their tongues mingled languidly, lazily, tasting each other. Keith tasted like hard liquor, while Lance had a sweet taste from the apple ale. Lance wondered if he’d fallen asleep and was dreaming. Who knew the boy he saw stripping on the dance floor of a sleazy club would be making him feel this way? He giggled softly when they broke apart for air.

 

“Hey, Keith?” Lance said quietly.

 

“Yeah?” Keith breathed.

 

“I know it hasn’t really been that long, but would you want to be my boyfriend?” Lance asked, his nerves showing in his voice. Keith leaned back to get a good look at Lance’s face, searching for signs of insincerity.

 

“What?” Keith asked incredulously.

 

“I really like you. I mean, if you don’t feel the same way, I understand but-”

 

“Yes, yes, Lance! I’d love to be your boyfriend.” Keith wore a gentle smile as he looked down at his new boyfriend. He closed the distance between them and gave him a hasty kiss. 

 

“Yes! Score!!” Lance pulled away and laughed, pumping a fist at his side. “I have the prettiest boyfriend ever. I can say that without lying now!”

 

“What, you’ve been saying that? To whom?” Keith snorted.

 

“Uhh, friends?” Lance looked away and blushed.

 

“You said we were dating?” Keith pulled his brows together in a scowl.

 

“Oh no, don’t be mad! I was just, gushing about  how much I liked you to my friends and I may have let it slip that I wanted to date you.” Lance scrambled to save face. “I’m sorry! I didn’t want to upset you!”

 

“Ha, you should see your face right now.” Keith smirked. Lance gasped and held a hand on his chest.

  
“I am appalled, Keith; how dare.” Lance said. “I’m hurt.” Keith laughed and got off of Lance’s lap, heaving himself next to him instead.

 

“Sorry, let’s celebrate our union!” Keith smiled widely and kissed Lance’s cheek before getting up. “Do you want anything stronger?” He called from the kitchen.

 

“Nah, I’ll have my ale.” Lance replied. He grabbed his can and finished it off. “This bitch empty!” He yelled.

 

“YEET!” Keith screeched from the kitchen, making Lance fall even further for his boyfriend. Keith returned with a bottle of gin in his hand. Lance quirked an eyebrow.

 

“Aren’t you gonna chase with anything?” He cracked another ale.

 

“Nah, this is like water to me.” Keith took a large swig from the green bottle. Lance gagged.

 

“Your liver must hate you.” Lance frowned. “But for real, that can’t be good for you.”

 

“It’ll be fine, it always is.” Keith shrugged and downed some more. He breathed out slowly once he swallowed. “Want some?” He held out the bottle to Lance.

 

“No thank you. You already asked, remember?” Lance swallowed some ale. Keith looked confused.

 

“Did I? Shit.” Keith rubbed his eye with the heel of his hand.

 

“Don’t worry, you’re just drunk.” Lance nearly finished his second can.

 

“... As per usual…” Keith said quietly. Lance almost didn’t catch it.

 

“What do you mean?” He asked.

 

“Nothing.” Keith had an unreadable expression.

 

“Okay.” Lance said, after considering being respectful of his boyfriend’s limits. “If you want to talk about anything you know I’ll always listen, right?” Keith seemed to consider this for a few moments.

 

“Right, thanks Lance.” Keith smiled softly and leaned forward to plant a sloppy kiss on Lance’s cheek. He couldn’t help but feel a sinking feeling in his chest. As he stared at Lance drinking his ale, he realized how temporary this happiness was.

 

He believed the happiness he felt with Lance wouldn’t last. 

 

\----

 

One night, approximately six months later, Keith stood outside a club and hailed an uber to get home. He didn’t drink and drive, he didn’t want his self-loathing streak to harm anyone but himself. In the car, he got a call. Without looking who it was, he answered.

 

“H-Hullo?” Keith slurred.

 

“Keith.”

 

“Shiro? Shiro is that you?” Keith had a hard time focusing.

 

“Yes, it’s me. Are you drunk again?” Shiro asked in his dad voice.

 

“Fuck.” Keith replied, putting his unoccupied hand over his eyes and resting his elbow in his lap.

 

“I’ll take that as a yes. How many times is that now? Four times this week I’ve called and you’re plastered? Keith, you need to get help.”

 

“Like fuck I need to get help.” Keith jabbed back.

 

“That doesn’t even make sense. Are you taking your meds?” 

 

Keith paused. “... Yeah…”

 

“Well that’s good, but you’re not supposed to drink while taking them; I read the bottle.” Shiro said plainly.

 

“.... They don’t work anyways.” Keith reasoned.

 

“Then talk to your doctor, Keith. Drinking yourself into a blackout every day is not-”

 

Keith took the phone away from his ear and hung up on his brother. He was not going to listen to his spiel every time he got drunk. It was easier to stay drunk than it was to exert what little energy he had into getting help. He sat in silence for the rest of the ride home.

 

Once he was through the threshold of his front door he slammed it shut behind him and backed up to lean against it, sinking down to the floor. His knees touched his chest and he hugged his legs, the beginnings of a crisis emerging. He sniffed as tears began filling his eyes.

 

_ Why am I like this? _

 

He blinked the tears away and hugged himself, hands on his shoulders gripping his T-shirt with white knuckles. A sob shook his body.

 

_ Why is this happening?! _

 

Sob after sob, he cried on the floor. He was ashamed this was happening again, so he cried even harder.

 

_ What did I do to deserve this? _

 

He eventually let go of his shoulders and let his arms fall limp at his sides. He looked up at the ceiling and he realized the room was spinning. He gasped for air as the worst of it was out of his system. He wondered if that really was the worst of it.

 

He dug his phone out of his pocket and looked through his pictures, a habit that formed over the past few weeks. He opened a folder of downloaded pictures from social media, and was greeted by the smiling faces of his friends. He blinked away more tears.

 

Hunk.

 

Pidge.

 

_ Lance. _

 

Another wave of sobs overwhelmed him. He had to put his phone down and wipe at his eyes like a scared little boy who scraped his knee. He was sniffling when he grabbed the phone and looked through his tears at Lance’s smiling face. His blue eyes. His tanned, flawless skin. And that smile that charmed him from day one. Keith realized in that moment that he may or may not be in love with Lance. Keith felt something in his chest break and suddenly his sadness seemed to fade into numbness. 

 

_ What a grand time to realize something so important. _

 

He stared blankly at his phone as he swiped through the many pictures he drunkenly saved of Lance and his friends. At the end, the most recently saved picture, was a selfie of Lance with his arm around Keith, smiling like there’s no other place he’d rather be. Keith had a small smile on his face and held up a peace sign with the hand that wasn’t around Lance’s torso. In that moment, Keith realized what his body was telling him, what his mind had been alluding to for years.

 

_ You shouldn’t be here. _

 

Keith closed his eyes and sighed. He pulled up his texts to Lance and pressed the call button.

 

\-----

 

Lance was in his room, laying on his bed when he got the call. He was wearing a white and blue shirt and jeans from earlier that day, not bothering to change out of them. He nearly dropped his phone on his face when it started vibrating. A picture of Keith popped up, one where he had a peace sign up and wore a gentle smile. He answered the call.

 

“Hey!” Lance cheeped. Static filled his ear for a few moments before he heard Keith’s reply.

 

“Hey.” Keith said softly, like he was trying so hard not to harm him.

 

Lance felt his stomach drop. “H-hey, what’s up? It’s like, 2am.” Static.

 

“Lance, can I confess something?” Keith started. “Nevermind, it’s stupid to even ask. I’m gonna tell you something and I want you to listen.” Lance gulped.

 

“Alright, I’m listening.”

 

“I’m depressed.”

 

Static. Lance stayed silent, prompting Keith to continue.

 

“I’ve been getting drunk almost every day for… God, I don’t even remember when it started. It takes me away from everything and gives me a break from all the shitty things I feel. When I met you though, I felt something different. I… I guess I felt hopeful. Some sort of happiness. And you stayed with me and never pushed me-” A hiccup escaped Keith’s mouth. “-to change. You just liked me for me.” Another hiccup, and a pause. Lance heard some shuffling and a grunt, followed by footsteps. “I guess I want to thank you for everything. And tell Hunk and Pidge thanks too.”

 

Lance was sitting up now, feet dangling off his bed. “Whoa-ho there, you can thank them yourself, right? They’re not going anywhere, and neither are you.” He released a nervous chuckle.

 

Keith laughed softly. “About that…” He paused to sniffle. “This is the last time I get drunk, Lance.”

 

Lance felt his heart in his throat. “Wh-What?”

 

“Lance, what I’m about to say is very important so I want you to listen closely.”

 

Static.

 

“I’m in love with you. I think I fell in love when I woke up next to you, not even remembering your name.” Keith’s voice cracked at the end and a sob floated through the phone’s speaker. “I just… I love you. And you… you deserve better than me. You deserve someone normal.” Lance heard a soft thump. “You deserve the universe, Lance. I’m so sorry.”

 

“Keith, wait. I… I love you too. I don’t understand, why are you-”

 

“Goodbye, Lance.”

 

A small beep indicated the call ended. Lance stared at his phone in disbelief before panic settled in his chest.

 

“Oh my god…!” Lance whispered. His brain sped to conclusions and he got on his facebook to find Keith’s brother. He found his number and dialed it right away.

 

The call was answered, and Lance heard some shuffling.

 

“H-Hello?” A gravelly voice said.

 

“Shiro? Is this Shiro?” Lance said almost too fast to understand.

 

“Yeah, what- who is this?”

 

“This is Lance, Keith’s boyfriend. He just called me and it sounds like he’s going to kill himself. I don’t know how but he just hung up with me and I panicked and I didn’t know who to-”

 

“Keith’s going to what?!” Shiro yelled into the receiver.

 

“He’s going to d-die Shiro, he’s gonna-” Lance’s panic began making itself obvious in his voice. His breath sped up. “What do we do? I can’t… I just.. He…”

 

“I’ll call 911. I’ll meet you at his apartment.” Shiro said curtly before hanging up. Lance sprung to his feet and pulled on his shoes, not bothering to take his hoodie. Slamming the front door to his apartment, he ran down the hall and down the stairs to the parking garage.

 

\----

 

Keith’s head was swimming. The room was spinning from his seat on the bathroom floor. He didn’t know if that was from the alcohol or the excessive amounts of medication he just downed. He felt his heart racing. Soon he’d be gone and no one would have to worry about him ever again. He smiled at the thought of finally being at peace.

 

About ten minutes later, he began to get sleepy. He blinked slowly and breathed shallowly. He could have sworn he heard pounding on his door. His vision was beginning to blur. He smiled at the giddy feeling bubbling in his chest. A loud bang rang in his ears.

 

“Keith?! KEITH!” The yells echoed in his head. He heard footsteps get louder.

 

“Keith!!” He looked up and saw Lance. His Lance.

 

“My Lance.” Keith slurred and held his arms out as if to hug him.

 

“Oh Jesus, Keith? Are you okay? What did you do?” Lance’s blurry figure crouched next to him and he felt hands cradling his face.

 

“I took everything, Lance.” He sucked in a ragged breath as he stared into Lance’s face. “I’m sorry… I am so sorry...” He said, completely delirious.

 

“No, no no no Keith don’t be sorry, everything’s going to be okay.” Lance’s voice was shaky. Keith was smiling at Lance, still blinking slowly. His eyes began to droop along with his smile. “Noope no Keith, stay awake.”

 

“But it’s hard…” Keith groaned. His eyes drifted shut and he began falling to his side. Lance lunged and caught him.

 

“Keith!”

 

\---

 

Shiro was pacing the length of the private waiting room. Lance sat in a chair with his head in his hands, hunched over his legs with one leg bouncing. Shiro stopped in front of Lance and put a hand on his shoulder.

 

“You should get some shut eye. They probably won’t have news until morning.” Shiro said softly before sitting down next to him.

 

Lance stayed quiet. Wasn’t it morning already? Lance didn’t want to check his phone in fear of seeing any trace of Keith. He only just stopped crying.

 

“I’m… so sorry, Shiro.” Lance said for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. Shiro’s brows pinched together in a stern look.

 

“Please stop apologizing, you didn’t do anything-”

 

“That’s exactly it, though. I didn’t do anything. I just sat there and listened to him pour his heart out to me and let him hang up on me.” Lance got choked up by the end of this sentence.

 

“Stop. It isn’t helping anything to beat yourself up about what you should have done. What matters now is how we support Keith and help him recover.” Shiro said firmly. Lance was looking at him in the eyes now. He saw a certain tired sadness in Shiro’s eyes.

 

“You’re right.” Lance said finally, looking down at the floor past his crossed hands. Silence took over them, the only thing making any noise was the clock on the wall. When did that get there? Lance hadn’t even noticed. He looked up at the clock and read the time. About four AM. He’d been sitting here in the waiting room since he followed the ambulance to the hospital. He didn’t even get to see Keith before he was whisked away. There was an aching in Lance’s chest then that wasn’t there before. He cradled his head and let himself cry again.

 

\----

 

Beeps.

 

The first thing Keith noticed were the beeps. Continuous, unyielding beeps. He felt a mask on his face, and took a deep breath.

 

He was alive.

 

His eyes shot open and he saw a curtain drawn around him. He turned his head to find himself surrounded by equipment, and found the source of the beeps. It was his heart beat. He reached up to touch his face and felt the plastic of the oxygen mask covering his nose and mouth. A nurse pushed past the curtain and gasped.

 

“Oh, you’re awake!” He said. “I’ll get the doctor and let your family know. You’re going to be okay, Keith.” He reassured him with a firm squeeze on his shoulder.

 

_ Family?? _

 

Keith’s brain, muddled by the overdose, raced to figure out what he meant by family. Then it hit him. 

 

_ Shiro. _

 

Tears built up in his eyes and slithered down his face. He couldn’t believe he was alive. Why couldn’t they let him die? Now he has to go through all this effort to get healthy for everyone around him while he was still suffering. What about what  _ Keith _ wanted? He covered his eyes with both hands. He heard the curtain pull aside.

 

“Keith Kogane? I’m Doctor Miller, I’ll be taking care of you until you leave. I’m here for a couple tests. Do you want to see your family before we start?” The doctor’s voice soothed him. It sounded just like his mother’s.

 

“No, let’s just get this over with.”

 

\-----

 

By the time they were done it was six in the morning. They had run tests to see how his brain was functioning, if his reflexes worked, his heart was strong, and no fluid in his lungs. The psych evaluation was uncomfortable but he answered honestly. He figured he had nothing to lose any more. He saw nurses come in and out of his little room, changing out the bags connected to him. One stopped before he left.

 

“You can take the mask off if you want. Your brain has enough oxygen now.” The nurse said with a smile. Keith removed the mask and laid it down next to him, taking a deep breath of what he would later call “fresh, hospital air”. “Your family would like to see you. Should we send them in?” He asked permission.

 

Keith’s breath stalled in his throat. “Sure.” He said against his will. He had no idea what he wanted to say; what he  _ should _ say. How could he save face after pulling a stunt like that? The same question from before popped up,  _ Why couldn’t they let him die? _ Anger reared its ugly head in his gut. He felt his face heating up. The beeping picked up. He couldn’t believe the shit he’s gotten himself into. But he wasn’t just angry at himself; he was angry at a certain someone who saved his life. That certain someone who held him in his “last” moments. That someone who he loved so dearly. Before he could finish his rapid train of thoughts, the curtain pulled aside and revealed a very old looking Shiro. Immediately, he felt his anger subside.

 

“Keith.” Shiro breathed a sigh of relief and stepped into the small area next to Keith’s bed. He held his hand and smiled a smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes. “How ya feeling, lil bro?” He rubbed his thumb over the back of Keith’s hand.

 

“... Confused.” Keith said quietly. “I’m alive.”

 

“Yes, yes you are.” Shiro’s voice broke as he nodded his reply.

 

“I… Shouldn’t be here, Shiro.” Keith sounded tired. Shiro frowned.

 

“But you are, Keith.” Shiro squeezed his hand. “And while you’re here we’re going to be here for you.” Tears slid down Shiro’s cheeks. “No matter what.”

 

“We?” Keith asked and looked at Shiro’s face then, genuine confusion written all over his face. The curtain pulled aside once more, as if on cue.

 

Lance stepped in front of the bed and Keith held his breath when he made eye contact with those blue eyes he loved so much. A gasp filled his lungs as tears fell down his face. Shiro smiled at the silent exchange.

 

“Lance?” Keith said, as if confirming Lance was actually in the room.

 

“Keith.” Lance could barely choke out his name. He walked slowly to the other side of the bed and shakily took Keith’s hand. “Oh God, Keith…” Lance’s floodgates tore down and he wept with one arm covering his face and the other relaxed to keep its hold on Keith’s hand. “I thought.. I thought you were gonna…” Keith looked straight ahead with an unreadable expression, tears still cascading down his cheeks. “Keith. Keith…” Lance whimpered his name repeatedly. He wiped his eyes with his one arm and stopped to look down at Keith. “I… can I hug you?” The silence was deafening.

 

“Shiro, can I talk to Lance privately please?” Keith croaked. Shiro’s eyes widened slightly, but he nodded in understanding. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of Keith’s head.

 

“Alright, I’ll be in the waiting room.” With that Shiro was gone, leaving Keith with Lance. Lance shifted his footing, not saying a word. He sniffled rather obnoxiously but still refrained from speaking.

 

“Lance,” Keith began. Lance stiffened at the mention of his name in such a weird tone. “Why did you save me?” Keith’s lower lip quivered as he spoke, as well as his voice. He looked up at Lance and the face he wore broke Lance’s heart. “Why couldn’t you just let me go?” The tail end of his sentence grew in volume.

 

“Keith…” Lance cooed his name and held onto his hand with both of his own.

 

“Answer me.” Keith said bitterly.

 

“I saved you because… Well, to be blunt, I care about you. As a friend and as your boyfriend.” Lance took deep breaths in between sentences, trying to even out his voice as best he could. “I couldn’t sit there and let you die. You’re too important to me… to everyone in your life. We care about you.” He emphasized the ‘you’ at the end of his sentence by squeezing Keith’s hand. “And from now on I'm not going to leave your side.”

 

Keith sighed and he wiped his face with his other hand. “You… you promise?”

 

“Yes, I promise.” Lance smiled and leaned forward to kiss the crown of Keith’s head. They sat in silence for a few seconds before Keith spoke again.

 

“Can I move in with you?” He asked quietly. Lance choked on a sob.

 

“Of course you can. We’ll talk to Shiro about the technicalities later.” He raked a hand through Keith’s unkempt hair. “Can I get that hug now?”

 

“I guess so.” Keith quirked his mouth into a small smile.

 

\----

 

When Keith was released, he started an intense therapy routine. Three times a week he was in group therapy. When he was done at therapy he would go to Lance’s apartment and go over what he learned that day. They fell into a nice schedule, and eight weeks later Keith’s therapy ended.

 

With Shiro’s permission and blessing, Keith moved out of his apartment and moved in with Lance. They made enough money to cover rent and groceries easily, so they went and bought an appliance together. Lance was choked up about buying a blender, and Keith laughed at him.

 

“We’re so domestic!” Lance cried as they exited the mall. “I can’t believe it’s already been 9 months! We could’ve had a baby by now!”

 

“Too bad neither of us can get pregnant.” Keith deadpanned. Hunk and Pidge exchanged disgusted expressions.

 

“That’s just gross.” Pidge said, sipping her pop.

 

“You guys talk too much.” Hunk added.

 

“Excuse you, we do not talk too much!” Lance grabbed Keith’s unoccupied hand in his own.

 

“You’re right, it’s just you who talks too much.” Pidge quipped. Lance took his keys out of his pocket and unlocked his car.

 

“Next person to insult me walks home.” Lance scolded. Keith laughed at the silence that followed.

 

Keith smiled.

 

_ Maybe this happiness can last. _


End file.
